Today I’m the mum not quite holding it all together.


Today I had a couple of conversations that have stuck with me. The first someone saying something along the lines of “I don’t know how you manage” or, “how do you juggle it all”. (Something that I hear a lot when I share that I have 4 kids...) And the second was another mama saying to me “we’re surviving”.


You know what, I’m not always holding it together, or managing to cope and juggle, but I’m surviving. Some days better than others but today wasnt so great.


Today I was the mum who was woken up stupidly early by her 1 year old. Who ate biscuits for breakfast and let the 1 year old drown malted milks in her tea because it kept her occupied for 3.5 seconds and it made the biggest two laugh.


I’m the mum who forgot to buy apple juice for the biggest child’s break-time snack. The mum who has only just ordered new jumpers for kid number 2 after he put holes in them 2 weeks ago.


I’m the mum who was so incredibly relieved that her 1 year old fell asleep on the school run in the wrap and prayed that she could manage a successful nap transfer so she could...clean the house. I’m the mum who needs another mum (organised mum method is amazing though) to tell her the schedule for cleaning her house because I can’t keep on top of it. (I can’t have anyone around unannounced)


I’m the mum who ate porridge for lunch because there wasn’t anything else for lunch. I can’t keep on top of the food shopping. Im pretty certain we’ve run out of ham for lunches tomorrow and it’s only Tuesday ffs.


I’m the mum who turned up to a breastfeeding group and allowed her 1 year old to eat someone else’s food (oh the shame) and then the 1 year old bit another child. I’m that mum. The mum who leaves early because she feels like a worse parent than normal.


I’m the mum who felt so incredibly terrible that someone else’s child was in pain because of my child and then felt crushing sadness that others may think my child is bad.


I’m the mum who hurriedly left. Wrapping up my child in our woven which felt like a cloak of protection.


I’m the mum who guilt purchased things for her oldest child because mum guilt is real, and I just want her to smile at me and be happy.


I’m that mum sitting on a train wondering if I’ll make it home in time before school run to be able to take the dogs out first because taking the kids and the dogs out on my own feels like a mountain I can’t climb today. Because I’m the mum who has boys who fight. And try and kick each other. I’m the fur mum who’s dogs choose not to listen when I need them too.


I’m the mum who is wondering which child is going to complain about dinner tonight and wondering if it’s acceptable just to give them ice cream?


I’m the mum who has only just signed middle child up for karate lessons because I’m worried that he doesn’t get enough positive affirmation and praise and we need something *just for him*.


I’m the mum who feels overwhelming anxiety about everything.


I’m the mum who babywears because I’m terrified of how quickly my babies have grown up and I need the cuddles.


I am the mum who babywears because I was about 5 months late in sewing on the brownie badges to my biggest child’s sash and they only way to get it done was to have the crazy feral toddler strapped to me!


I’m the mum surviving. And I know I have it good. I know there are people in the world who are really suffering. But to those of you who think “how does she cope?” I survive. Just like others. And I think I’m going to have a cry and try at cut myself some slack. And so should you. Use whatever tools you have to survive. Babywearing and cake and gin and pulling up the drawbridge of my family is what helps me.

Babywearing questions with...is back!

Today, the turn of lovely Tina Hoffmann. Mother, babywearing educator and managing director at Didymos, who create such lovely woven wraps.

Carol and I had the privilege of meeting Tina at the Wrap Show in London last year and hearing her speak about the importance of babywearing for the premature baby. Soooo interesting!

1. What was your first experience of babywearing?

My first experience of babywearing was worn myself in 1971. But of course, I cannot remember that. I started babywearing myself when my nephew Paul was born 1998 and I was happy for every opportunity I could wear him. Two years later my son was born who was merely „living on me“ as he did not like to be layed away till he could move on his own from A to B. My daughter was born 2002 and completely different from my son. I carried her mainly on my back. Both children were carried in several DIDYMOS Baby wraps and my favourite tying methods are the DIDYMOS Front Wrap Cross Carry and the simple Rucksackcarry.


2 Can you pick a favourite sling/wrap/Carrier?

That is by far too difficult. I never used a carrier myself. I used only Woven DIDYMOS Wraps. And the designs were differen. My first one was a Laura for my son. Few others added to that and now I have a decent number of wraps. There are also two unique ones a trial in Tina Cube pattern and mainly warm colours.


3. Can you share a favourite babywearing moment either personally or professionally (or both)

My favourite babywearing moment was when I was still without children. I had a consultation in our newly openened store 1999. And a young father came to to the shop, looking for a wrap for him and his daughter. He chose the EVA and left the store proudly and happy with his daughter wrapped in the Eva. I really liked how much he enjoyed wearing his daughter and how confident he was about the shades of pink of beautiful EVA. I quite often think of that experience. It was my first consultation on my own as well.


4. Is there anyone who has been an inspiration to you in your babywearing journey?

Oh yes, that one is easy. It was my mother of course. She was brave and convinced of doing the right thing when she wore us in the 70s and withstood all doubts and accusation of harming the children and neglecting us because of her becoming an entrepreneur. We were never neglected and reading through the letters she got, still makes me shudder, there was so much hostility and judgement on her.


5. When was the last time you were babywearing?

Well, certainly too long ago. But only a few weeks ago I had the chance to wear a baby of a friend of ours. But I must admit, I look forward to get more babys to wear again. But don’t tell my children, they are still a bit too young 😊


6. What is your role in the babywearing world and how can people find you?

Oh, how could I ask this question? I think this is a questions others need to answer. I can easily be found at DIDYMOS in Ludwigsburg or via e-mail mail@didymos.de


Many thanks Tina!

How to be a Pinterest babywearer (jokes) #soblessed


A little while ago someone mentioned that i had a “Pinterest lifestyle”, that I share pics of me babywearing in the woods while my family happily frolic in nature. Ha. It’s lies I tell you! Life with 4 kids, two (large, hairy) dogs, running a business is chaotic, not Pinterest worthy. I mean, I like to spend my time browsing Pinterest, imagining a clean beautiful house, a family with coordinating outfits, nutritious and organic meals, crafts on the go with my children singing in four part harmony*, and babywearing photos of me looking oh so glam. Except that’s not my real life. Walks in the woods normally happen because I’m about to go bat shit crazy, babywearing happens because I have normal babies who don’t want to be put down and I spent quite some time the other day feeling self loathing about the way a front carry squishes all my squishy bits in quite the wrong way. But here you go, my guide to being a Pinterest babywearer! (jokes)

1. When taking a babywearing selfie find a good background and hide that bag of dog poo (if you have dogs)
2. Apply a good filter - valencia or juno are my faves
3. Be very selective about who takes your photo, this is 2018’s trust exercise.
4. Never let anyone see your child having a temper tantrum in the sling. Ha, nothing quite beats a toddler shouting “down mummy” as loud as they can!
5. Choose your wrap carry based on where the stains are on your jumper - hide the evidence of that cake you just shovelled in secret.
6. Conveniently forget what was actually happening while the photo was being taken. *I was having a lovely walk, not shouting at the dog for running off, again *
7. Choose the wrap carry depending on the level of appropriateness of clothing your child is wearing - eg a 3 layer wrap carry because they absolutely refuse to wear their jumper and it’s bloody freezing
8. Bribe them, from about a year old bribes work! Sweets, tv, chocolate...I won’t judge you.
9. But while you bribe them don’t worry about the mess they leave on your top or in your hair, it’s just evidence of your wonderful baby led weaning journey...ha
10. Remember that your child is up close to where they can hear you. Wonderful for their speech development, but please remember to only mutter unintelligible swear words under your breath
11. Go on wonderful walks to beautiful local nature reserves, because you can’t possibly bear to be stuck in the house another moment longer.
12. Make sure you take lots of pictures of your baby sleeping peacefully in your sling. Proof that they do actually at times sleep! #soblessed
13. Be very careful where you take your selfie in your home. Make sure no one can see the piles of shit everywhere.

*reminds me, the other day the kids were being mental, one of the dogs had weed on the floor and Samuel had trodden in it. I turned to cj and said “why? I thought we’d be singing songs and having a wonderful time” so I asked Bethany to sing a song #Tullys done a wee and Samuel trod in it, Tully’s done a wee and Samuel trod in it...#all the joy #soblessed