A little while ago someone mentioned that i had a “Pinterest lifestyle”, that I share pics of me babywearing in the woods while my family happily frolic in nature. Ha. It’s lies I tell you! Life with 4 kids, two (large, hairy) dogs, running a business is chaotic, not Pinterest worthy. I mean, I like to spend my time browsing Pinterest, imagining a clean beautiful house, a family with coordinating outfits, nutritious and organic meals, crafts on the go with my children singing in four part harmony*, and babywearing photos of me looking oh so glam. Except that’s not my real life. Walks in the woods normally happen because I’m about to go bat shit crazy, babywearing happens because I have normal babies who don’t want to be put down and I spent quite some time the other day feeling self loathing about the way a front carry squishes all my squishy bits in quite the wrong way. But here you go, my guide to being a Pinterest babywearer! (jokes)
- When taking a babywearing selfie find a good background and hide that bag of dog poo (if you have dogs)
- Apply a good filter - valencia or juno are my faves
- Be very selective about who takes your photo, this is 2018’s trust exercise.
- Never let anyone see your child having a temper tantrum in the sling. Ha, nothing quite beats a toddler shouting “down mummy” as loud as they can!
- Choose your wrap carry based on where the stains are on your jumper - hide the evidence of that cake you just shovelled in secret.
- Conveniently forget what was actually happening while the photo was being taken. *I was having a lovely walk, not shouting at the dog for running off, again *
- Choose the wrap carry depending on the level of appropriateness of clothing your child is wearing - eg a 3 layer wrap carry because they absolutely refuse to wear their jumper and it’s bloody freezing
- Bribe them, from about a year old bribes work! Sweets, tv, chocolate...I won’t judge you.
- But while you bribe them don’t worry about the mess they leave on your top or in your hair, it’s just evidence of your wonderful baby led weaning journey...ha
- Remember that your child is up close to where they can hear you. Wonderful for their speech development, but please remember to only mutter unintelligible swear words under your breath
- Go on wonderful walks to beautiful local nature reserves, because you can’t possibly bear to be stuck in the house another moment longer.
- Make sure you take lots of pictures of your baby sleeping peacefully in your sling. Proof that they do actually at times sleep! #soblessed
- Be very careful where you take your selfie in your home. Make sure no one can see the piles of shit everywhere.
*reminds me, the other day the kids were being mental, one of the dogs had weed on the floor and Samuel had trodden in it. I turned to cj and said “why? I thought we’d be singing songs and having a wonderful time” so I asked Bethany to sing a song #Tullys done a wee and Samuel trod in it, Tully’s done a wee and Samuel trod in it...#all the joy #soblessed