When Anna was born, and for about 9 months she hated the bath. I mean screamed like it was the worst thing ever. And all of a sudden after months of us avoiding bath time as much as possible, she loved it. Its now one of the only activities that she is 100% going to love.
Whats this got to do with your baby not wanting to be put down I hear you wonder? Well, we didn't do anything to get Anna to like the bath more. We just waited. And eventually she was ok with it. We didn't force the issue, we just went with it. She changed.
And here's the thing, babies, toddlers, children, they change. It just happens. It's like we get used to one way of doing things as parents before it changes again. We can read all the books, we can try to figure out a plan, routine, strategy, all the while we're trying to figure out what's going on, they are busy doing their own developing and changing and growing.
My long suffering husband and friends will tell you that I'm the first person to stress about the "plan", the "long term". I promise you that I have asked more than a million squillion times if it's "ok"? And in particular, relating to my babies need for closeness.
Is it ok that I can't put her down tonight?
Is it ok that she only wants to sleep on me?
Is it ok that she will only settle in the sling?
Is it ok that as soon as I take her out of the sling she wakes up?
Have I done something wrong?
Is it ok that I can't just lay my baby down "awake but drowsy" and allow them to self-soothe?
The answer is not even a right or wrong thing. The answer is, it's ok.
It's just ok.
And it's going to be ok
Because they change.
Their needs will change.
One day I was walking around the kitchen with my eldest in a sling, pacing our little flat, wondering what I'd done wrong. And now, she's a big 8 year old who still loves cuddles but doesn't need the sling to get to sleep.
I don't know how we got there but we did. And it was ok. I need reminding often that all will be ok. My husband will quite often get a barrage of texts from me saying something is going on, then tell him my thoughts and then need affirming I'm doing the "right" thing. So if you need a reminder that you're doing ok, here it is:
...right now if you're baby needs you and doesn't like to be put down. Or your toddler is going through a seperation anxiety phase - just know it's ok. It's going to be ok and in a month's time it will be different. Its ok to respond with cuddles, it's ok to let them sleep on you, or in the sling, it's ok if they need you.
You are building foundations of love. And all will be well ♥️
Whats this got to do with your baby not wanting to be put down I hear you wonder? Well, we didn't do anything to get Anna to like the bath more. We just waited. And eventually she was ok with it. We didn't force the issue, we just went with it. She changed.
And here's the thing, babies, toddlers, children, they change. It just happens. It's like we get used to one way of doing things as parents before it changes again. We can read all the books, we can try to figure out a plan, routine, strategy, all the while we're trying to figure out what's going on, they are busy doing their own developing and changing and growing.
My long suffering husband and friends will tell you that I'm the first person to stress about the "plan", the "long term". I promise you that I have asked more than a million squillion times if it's "ok"? And in particular, relating to my babies need for closeness.
Is it ok that I can't put her down tonight?
Is it ok that she only wants to sleep on me?
Is it ok that she will only settle in the sling?
Is it ok that as soon as I take her out of the sling she wakes up?
Have I done something wrong?
Is it ok that I can't just lay my baby down "awake but drowsy" and allow them to self-soothe?
The answer is not even a right or wrong thing. The answer is, it's ok.
It's just ok.
And it's going to be ok
Because they change.
Their needs will change.
One day I was walking around the kitchen with my eldest in a sling, pacing our little flat, wondering what I'd done wrong. And now, she's a big 8 year old who still loves cuddles but doesn't need the sling to get to sleep.
I don't know how we got there but we did. And it was ok. I need reminding often that all will be ok. My husband will quite often get a barrage of texts from me saying something is going on, then tell him my thoughts and then need affirming I'm doing the "right" thing. So if you need a reminder that you're doing ok, here it is:
...right now if you're baby needs you and doesn't like to be put down. Or your toddler is going through a seperation anxiety phase - just know it's ok. It's going to be ok and in a month's time it will be different. Its ok to respond with cuddles, it's ok to let them sleep on you, or in the sling, it's ok if they need you.
You are building foundations of love. And all will be well ♥️
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