Teeny tiny babies in slings are super cute and lovely, generally no one bats an eyelid at seeing a little squish all tucked up with mummy. But what about when your baby gets bigger, perhaps to toddler hood, and they are getting more and more confident on their own feet? Or perhaps you've been carrying your toddler and you've overheard one of those "comments". You know the
"what's she doing carrying her in that still?"
"Oh I bet using that is hurting your back now."
"don't you think he should be walking on his own by now?"
"you're making a rod for your own back, she'll never want to walk nicely on her own..."
and my personal favourite that was said to me by a family member "you look weird". 

Is this the time to hang up the sling and drag your toddler/preschooler around by the hand?

Ab-so-bloody-loutely not. 

I'm a firm believer in baby wearing right from the beginning and then for as long as they need. Toddlers and bigger kids need this too. So here are my top reasons why I love toddler wearing. If you're at the baby stage still, read this knowing it's ok to continue on your baby wearing journey past 6 months, a year, 2 years... If you're at the toddler phase, read this knowing that what you're doing is great, baby wearing for as long as they need is a fantastic thing you are doing for your little one. And if you've ever heard comments like the ones I've listed, I'm sorry. Just know that for every person who criticises you there will be others who agree and want to support you. Find those people and stick with em. (come along to one of our coffee mornings!)

1. They still get tired. 
Yeah I know toddlers have seemingly endless energy, but there is a point at which they are too tired to go on. If you're out and about with no buggy and need to keep going/get back home/back to the car your toddlers options are limited. Either throw a temper tantrum, moan and cry all the way back, or refuse to take another step. Thank goodness for slings in this situation. They have saved many an outing for me when a toddler gets too tired. 

2. They don't want to go in the buggy
Maybe it's just my kids? Have you ever had a fight on your hands to just get them into a buggy and strapped in. When they become solid planks and refuse to sit down? Don't get me wrong, I love my buggy (in fact I tried to get my 3 year old to come to the shop with me yesterday so I could take the buggy and have it carry the shopping home) but there are times a buggy isn't happening but a sling will. 

3. They get overwhelmed/need reasurrance 
At 1/2/3/4...they are still so little in such a big crazy world. New situations, new people, new places, new feelings can be super overwhelming to little people. When Samuel started preschool in January he went through a phase of needing to be carried to preschool in a sling because for him it was a comforting and reassuring place to be when he was going through a big transition. 

4. You can't go toddler speed
I love a toddler speed walk around the woods/to the park. But there are times when I can't go toddler speed (which seems to be either walking so slow I feel like I'm going backwards, or going so fast I feel we're competing at speed walking). Again, slings have saved the day for me many times, being able to put a toddler on my back and just GO! 

5. They run off/you need to stay together
Sometimes and in some places it's even more important to stay together, hold hands. I love a sling in this situation. I have free hands for my bigger kids to hold on to, the toddler can't run off and I know where they are. 

6. They still want to be part of your world 
Life is very different all the way down there at the height of a 1/2/3 year old. Especially if they have been used to baby wearing from the beginning, they are well used to being at your height and being part of your world, seeing what you see and listening to what you have to say. Toddlers still like this, they still love being right up with you, seeing things as you see them. Experiencing things together. 

7. They still love cuddles and closeness
The need to be close to you doesn't disappear when a child reaches toddler hood (although some are more independent than others). Using a sling is such a good way to maintain that closeness, especially if you're busy or out and about. 

8. They can't do a particular thing that you're doing
We visited my husbands family in Ireland last summer and went for lots of gorgeous walks involving the hills and around waterfalls. My (at the time) almost 3 year old wasn't physically able to keep up or manage the type of walks we were doing. The toddler tula was amazing for me to be able to carry him when he couldn't walk.

9. They are fickle creatures
Toddlers are fickle creatures, one minute wanting to walk, another wanting to be carried and there isn't much persuading them to do the opposite to what they want. Using a sling which allows quick ups and downs can be life saver.

10. Your back
A note about your back when carrying a bigger kid. Baby wearing should never be uncomfortable. Using a well fitting sling for the age, size and weight of your child means that their weight should be well distributed and carrying them shouldn't be a problem. If you have carried your child from birth your back will have adjusted and strengthened as they grow. Obviously if you're carrying a large 3 year old for long periods of time you will find that when you've put them down that you are aware of a lack of weight on your back. But you shouldn't be in pain. Please come and see us for some help if you ever find baby wearing is uncomfortable. 

Remember my (not so) amazing preparation for baby number 1? (read about it here if you missed it) Well the story continues...When I had come through the fog of the very earliest days of recovering from birth and trying to establish feeding, the reality of having a baby and what she had done to my every day life hit me. Hard. At the end of my husbands paternity leave I remember going to a bumps and babes group with him (he was trying to help me find "things to do") and looking around at all of the babies there who were mostly older and bigger than my baby and all "playing" with some toys or at least sitting staring at something plastic flashing pretty lights at them. I genuinely wondered when my baby would be able to do that and when I would be able to put her down? Bethany did not like being put down when she was tiny. She wanted to be held and cuddled all day long.  This really took me aback. I had no idea I would not have my hands free (ever again it felt like at the time). That making dinner was not going to happen until my husband got home, that peeing was really hard work while trying to hold a baby, that simply getting dressed myself was a mission.

Thankfully, although I was clueless, I did have (and still do) a crazy lioness mother side when it comes to listening to my babies cry, or handing them over to someone else, or putting them down when they need to be held. Remember how Joey doesn't share his Food? Well Chiara doesn't share babies! So I held, and cradled and rocked. It freaked me out if someone else wanted to hold her for slightly longer than I was happy with, or if she cried in someone else's arms I needed her back. My husband very quickly learnt "the look" when he needed to get the baby back for me if someone was giving her a cuddle. 

Enter the sling. 

Ok, so I struggled to start with but once I got the hang of using a sling, it solved these issues. Bethany wanted to be held, I needed my hands = put her in the sling. I knew we would be seeing lots of people and she might get overwhelmed = put her in the sling. 

So here's why this is more normal than I thought or gave myself credit for. When in the womb, baby is used to being constantly with you, they are never hungry, they are never cold. They are curled up all tight and snug, they hear the regular thudding of your heart, and the gurgling of your tummy. They are rocked by your movements, and soothed by your voice. All needs are met and there is no stress or anxiety or separation for baby. 

Once they are born, the world is a very different place. It is bright and loud. It can be too hot or too cold. They feel hunger for the first time. They have to wear clothes and nappies. And possibly the hardest transition is being separated from that permanent human contact. Have you heard of the fourth trimester? The idea here is that baby needs a fourth trimester to make that transition into the world and to do that we should try and help recreate the womb like environment for baby. 

Baby wearing is an awesome way of doing that. A newborn baby tucked up inside a cosy stretchy sling, beautifully supported, warm and cosy will generally instantly settle. At sling library sessions one of my absolute favourite moments will always be when a new mummy puts her new baby into a stretchy for the first time, she places her hands over baby's back and sighs and says "that's lovely". Then we are creating a womb like environment for baby. They are curled up tight and snug, can hear your heart beat, they are rocked by your movements and soothed by your voice, there is no separation for baby. 

What about the hunger issue? Baby wearing can be a brilliant way to help you learn your new baby's feeding cues. When they are super close to you, you will notice the "pre-cry" or the slight fussiness sooner and able to respond to their need for milk before they get over-upset. Amazing! 

Baby wearing from the beginning is awesome. 

When I was pregnant with my first, i genuinely thought I was all prepared and ready for baby. I'd got the nursery ready, (which she never slept in before we needed to move house)  I had organised her wardrobe (with stunning dresses - who knew they were so hard to put on a wriggling newborn?), stocked up on nappies and baby wipes (oh Lordy, the military operation that was changing her nappy - it took two of us to begin with). I had very many bottles of baby bath, shampoo and baby lotion (she didn't grow hair until she was 2). I had a buggy and I had a sling (neither of which I knew how to use but thought it couldn't be that hard) and I had what felt like hundreds of newborn suitable toys. (what the hell was I meant to actually do with them?) And that was it, I thought I was bloomin' super mum to be. After all I had 3 siblings and had done some babysitting, and worked in a school. I was good to go! 

Then she arrived. I remember this crushing over whelming sense of responsibility that I had to feed her and ultimately keep her safe and alive all day every day FOREVER! But I didn't have a clue how to do it?! How do you get a newborn to sleep? When do they sleep? How often should she feed? Why does she cry when I put her down? What do I do ALL DAY LONG?! After the initial haze of the two weeks of my husbands paternity leave had ended, I thought it was about time to venture out. ON.MY.OWN. We lived up two flights of stairs at the time and it turned out that Bethany would simply not be put down, or go into a buggy at the grand old age of 2 weeks. (I had no idea that baby would want to be held all day?!) and actually trying to lift a buggy down the stairs with a baby post episiotomy wasn't going to happen either. 

Enter the sling. I really want to tell you that it was magic, it saved the day, and I became the attached parent I was always meant to be. Wrong. It was a bloody nightmare. I got it out, it was one of the very basic original baby bjorns. No back support just a few clips to do up and a bit of adjusting. Could I do it? Nope. I cried hysterically instead because if I couldn't even put on a sling on my own I must be the absolute worst parent in the history of the world. 

Now, I'm not for one moment suggesting that anyone else will be as useless as me, but you can see why now I'm such a big fan of getting a sling AND, crucially, learning how to use it before baby is here. When I did finally get to grips with baby wearing, it did save my sanity. Bethany (and all my babies) wanted to, naturally, be in arms all of the time. But sometimes, mummy had to eat, or pee or take the dogs out, or rest her arms, or do something with the other kiddos, or walk down 2 flights of stairs! Bethany, like many other babies didn't do this magical "settle on her own" trick the books speak of (books which I panic bought and read while feeding my 2 week old) but I did discover very quickly the sleepy dust which only a sling can bring. Hurrah! 

Lessons to learn from useless me? Baby will want to be held, baby will need you all the time (why didn't I realise this?!). Babywearing helps that. Get a sling and learn how to use it before baby arrives! If you're expecting for the first time, or this is the first time you've thought about baby wearing, or you've got a friend who is expecting...come along to a sling library session :-)