Naturally Happy Families

November 22nd, 2019

11/22/2019

Parenting at Christmas. When things aren't all that..

\\\\nWe're in to that time of year when the posts on social media are all about Christmas gift guides for this that, shopping discounts, Christmas specials... Or perhaps it's posts filling your feed about how we should "cut down" at Christmas, have an eco Christmas a sustainable Christmas... busy things are. And then don't forget the "how many activities all of our kids are doing. What a drag it is to have to see all the family and friends to go to ALL the things..."

\\\\nI was going to add to that.
\\\\nI was going to do a post of
\\\\nHOW BABYWEARING CAN HELP YOU AT THE BUSIEST TIME OF YEAR.*
\\\\nand
\\\\nBABYWEARING GIFT GUIDES*
\\\\n(*Both of which I have done in the past and I may well still do, disclaimer.)

\\\\nBut as I was reading an article this morning about going from mountains of presents to just four (want, wear, need, read - an idea I think is great in of itself) I couldn't help but think "my kids have never had mountains of presents" and "we aren't super busy at Christmas with millions of family descending and going overboard with presents". And I felt triggered.

\\\\nWhy? Because we don't have the kind of money needed to have mountains of presents. And because we don't have close family living near us and we don't have loads of close friends inviting us to a gazillion parties. And I felt inadequate.

\\\\nAnd then I felt a bit angry at the implied privilege in an article like that..to be able to CHOOSE to turn down presents. (And I realise and acknowledge my own privilege to be able to have a house, food and my family and presents at Christmas, I absolutely do. And I am humbly grateful for them.)

\\\\nThen I think to Christmas day itself. I thought back to my first Christmas as a mum. It was *just* a day. We had a few presents and a nice dinner..but the baby at the time was only 3 months old. She still didn't sleep and she still needed her nappy changing. And she was still *just* a tiny baby who had no appreciation of "the magic of Christmas". But if I'm honest, I remember feeling a bit deflated on that first Christmas day as a mama.

\\\\nI just feel that Christmas in particular is dripping with expectation.
\\\\nExpectation of mountains of presents
\\\\nHuge over indulgence
\\\\nA massively busy 2 months of parties and days out
\\\\nAnd magic. Magic that we as parents must conjure.

\\\\nAnd this can be incredibly hard if not almost impossible to achieve, especially as a parent. And if you're striving for it, are you sacrificing something else? Your money (debt)? Your sanity? Your mental health? Your need to avoid certain family members?

\\\\nMaybe you're reading this and thinking "wow Chiara is a mega Scrooge, and hates the magic of Christmas". Oh contraire. I'm the person who has been listening to Christmas carols since the beginning of October. And one of my most favourite days of the year is 1st December when our (handmade, reclaimed wood) tree goes up.

\\\\nI love Christmas in the Evans house. It's simple. It actively how we've chosen to do things that suit our circumstances and it works for us with little to no expectation to go along with it.

\\\\nBut our Christmas as the Evans family has been deliberately chosen. And I have to work hard to try and avoid triggers that make me feel inadequate. Because our Christmas is right for us. And I love it.

\\\\nSo I just wanted to share my thoughts. Because perhaps you're feeling the same. Or perhaps you're feeling the weight of the Christmas expectation and that weight is heavier yet when we have small kids.

\\\\nIf you're someone who really does have a manic Christmas and you love it, there is no judgement here. When I can ditch my own triggers and anxiety, I secretly love seeing other people's photos because it genuinely makes me happy people are celebrating. I say every new years eve, I love knowing that people are partying still even though I'm not.

\\\\nAnd I'm going finish by bringing it back to babywearing and simple parenting. If you're finding yourself during the Christmas season *just* getting through and in the parenting trenches. Carrying a teething baby/settling a sick toddler/dealing with a newborn who won't be put down...and you're wondering where the magic of Christmas is. It's right there, in you, in your love for your little one. Xx

Safety first, then dance

11/16/2019

Let's be serious.
I take babywearing safety very seriously.

Why? Because you're carrying your most precious cargo.
And because you and your body matters too.
One of my most commonly used phrases at sling library is "have we been through safety stuff...?"
Not because babywearing is inherently unsafe. Actually it is safe when done...well...safely.

What does this mean?

It means we're carrying securely, comfortably and responsively.
♥️Baby's natural shape is respected
♥️Baby's airway is protected
♥️Both baby and wearer are secure and comfy

In terms of ANY activity we choose to do when carrying a baby we need to make a safety assessment. Be it walking through a door way or doing a dance class.

How is the activity I am doing going to impact the movement of my body, my baby's body and the sling? Could any of this impact safety? Could I get too hot? Could I compromise the position of the sling? Could I restrict my babys air way or air flow? Am I happy I can maintain safe babywearing during the whole of this activity including if my baby falls asleep or wakes up abd changes position?

And also super important. YOU and especially post natal bodies. Bodies that have changed through pregnancy, birth. Backs that are sore from feeding positions. Pelvic floors that are weakend. Cores that are softer than they once were.

These are things we take super seriously at dance-sling.

I mean really seriously.

We have two experienced dance teachers. They think through EVERY step they choreograph and how it will impact sling use.
One of our teachers is a women's health physio, bringing this knowledge to dance classes. Giving us dance moves that will strengthen the core and pelvic floor, not put pressure on it.
Then there is me, watching out for any sling isssues in class should any arise.
We are specifically insured to teach BABYWEARING dance classes.

And so if you are considering taking any post natal movement/exercise/dance class, please do make sure you can maintain safe positioning. And check in on the qualifications and insurance held.

Yes of course this is a plug for our classes, but it's also a set of information for anyone taking part in any babywearing exercise class.
Safety first.

Winter Babywearing - 10 things that will help and one that wont

10/20/2019

Winter is coming... (Updated for 2019)

What to put baby in while babywearing in the winter? We don’t want them too cold but it's so important that they dont over heat.

Babywearing in the winter is super lovely, so snuggly you can both keep warm together.

I’ve put together my top 10 things for winter babywearing. But before those, the general rule is each layer of the carrier or sling = a layer of clothing. So account for the sling when getting baby dressed to go out. Your body heat will help keep baby warm. And focus on the bits of baby which are out of the carrier. So head, feet, legs and arms (if baby likes to be arms out).

So how many layers? A little guide, but keep an eye add or take away layers as needed.

Mild days: normal house clothes with a large snuggly cardigan over both of you plus a hat and booties.

Colder days: a babywearing coat or cover over house clothes with booties and a hat

Super cold days (around zero and below) house clothes plus an extra layer (all in one sweatshirt type suit) plus your babywearing coat or cover.

(A note on my selection...I’ve tried to include products which are organic/WAHM/ethically sourced)

1. Babywearing Cover
Perfect if you don’t want to buy a whole new babywearing coat. These covers go over the sling (buckle/wrap etc) around underneath babies feet and tie on to the strap of whatever sling you’re using. I love the bundle bean. They have so many cute designs and there are lightweight as well as waterproof options. Love this polar bear design
Bundle bean - £39.99
https://www.bundlebean.com/product/babywearing-fleece-lined-sage-grey-polar-bear/

2. Babywearing Coat
A babywearing coat is a big investment but if you're at the beginning of your babywearing journey (planning more babies??!) Then it's a great purchase. Soooo much easier than trying to use a sling over your coat, this keeps both of you warm and snuggly. I love this one:
https://lovetobenatural.co.uk/mamalila-allweather-softshell-winter-jacket.html

3. Stay on booties
These are wonderful! They are elasticated around the foot and then a cuff over the ankle which has a popper = they can’t fall/get kicked/be pulled off! Hurrah. No cold toes here!
£18 approx
Buy them - from us!

4. Cuffed leggings
Thick jersey cotton leggings are my favourite for babywearing. Not tight and restrictive at all but thick enough to be a good layer in the autumn. I have also found that this style of trousers lasts for ages! Because you can fold the bottom and the top of them they grow with baby! I like having the cuff too so that I can pull them right down and tuck inside her babywearing booties.
https://www.babipur.co.uk/organic-baby-clothes/baby-trousers-dungarees/maxomorra-polar-bear-rib-pants.html

5. Leg warmers
Momoo £7.50
I love these so much. Thick, snuggly and the most wonderful designs. Ideal for using to keep little ankles and calf's warm especially when the sling pulls on the trousers.
Get them - from us!

6. Good hat
I find with babywearing, especially back carrying, I need a hat that will stay on! (Try getting a hat back on when a toddler on your back doesn't want to!)
Here's my favourite:
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/639113940/baby-winter-hat-with-ear-flaps-aviator?ref=shop_home_active_2&frs=1

7. All in one suit (NOT SNOW SUIT)
A snow suit is a no go (see below for more details) but an all in one thin(ish) suits work brilliantly. Think sweatshirt type material. Not bulky at all but an extra thin all over layer. With this footless design you can pair it with booties/shoes without squashing little toes while using the sling.
Here's my pick:
https://www.babipur.co.uk/organic-baby-clothes/playsuits-babygrows/maxomorra-winter-world-one-piece.html

8. Snuggly wrap\nA wrap with a bit of wool or Cashmere in it is a wonderful thing. They give the wrap a real snuggly-ness but because wool is a natural fibre it is breatheable = perfect for staying warm but not sweaty! I love a firespiral too! Such wonderful wraps. (Ask is about their fledgling scheme!)
https://www.firespiralslings.co.uk/online-shop/nights-watch-cyano-charters-moss/

9. Mittens for bigger babies/toddlers
Anna likes to be in the sling with her arms out now most of the time. So a pair of mittens with elasticated wrists are perfect for keeping her hands warm!
https://www.decathlon.co.uk/jr-fleece-mittens-mh100-blue-id_8369964.html

10. A snuggly cardigan.
I love cardigan season! A nice warm cardigan, for you, that's big enough to wrap around you both (while front carrying) is an excellent way of keeping warm and snuggly. So put your baby in the sling and then the cardigan over both of you.
This is lush
https://www.tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Lilac-Girlfriend-Cardigan/135151957-Lilac?searchTerm=:newArrivals&searchProduct=

Ooh...an extra one for you!
Sturdy boots
When it’s wet and slippery - a good pair of boots are a must - for you! I love my snow boots, I have north face boots and they keep my feet warm, dry and slip free.

****NO SNOWSUIT ****
Here’s the thing, snow suits are a no go in the sling. It’s the same as in a car seat. You can’t tighten the sling properly when a baby is in a bulky snow suit. This risks them slumping down inside the suit/sling = bad for airways. They can also overheat in a snow suit and over heating babies can become sleepy/unwell babies. So I recommend thin layers instead. As a wonderful friend and colleague pointed out the other day, snow suits are for playing in the snow.

Happy babywearing!

Choosing a sling for your newborn

10/2/2019

It’s no exaggeration to say that I was totally unprepared for the reality that was a newborn when I had my first baby. I swung from panicking about how on earth I was going to fill each day and being utterly overwhelmed by the fact that any “normal” things to fill the day at home (cleaning up/cooking/watching tv/shopping etc) were impossible because I had a baby who I couldn’t put down.

It’s also not an exaggeration to say that I remember standing in my living room holding a sling in one hand, baby crying on the sofa, husband looking on bewildered and saying “if I can’t use this sling, what kind of mother am I?”

It makes me so happy to see pregnant mamas or parents with their newborns at sling library, because a helping hand with choosing and fitting a sling, and having the sling for settling a newborn and having hands free, can make such a difference.

So getting a sling for your newborn, where to start?

Have a think about these questions:

Do I want something that will last longer than just newborn?
Do I want something super soft and snuggly?
What’s my budget?
Do I need something super quick to use?
How big is my baby?

All of this questions will help to give an idea about which sling is most suitable.

Here are my top picks for newborns.

Not all slings are newborn suitable, not all slings will last from birth through to toddlerhood. These slings listed here are all suitable from newborn. Some from about 7lbs and some from smaller. We pay very special attention to the positioning of a newborn baby in a sling or carrier. Focusing on airway, back support, hip and leg positioning. All of these slings, with correct fitting, will be respectful of newborns shape, size and position.

1. Tula free to grow
Hands down, this is our most popular sling. We hire the most, and sell the most. Why? Because they are adjustable and easy to use, come in gorgeous patterns and will genuinely last from newborn to toddlerhood. Amazing. They clip around your waist, baby goes against your chest as you bring the panel up and your arms go into the straps. A clip at the back and some clever forward tightening and you’re done! LOVE IT!
TOP TIP: loosen the webbing to be able to easily reach the back clip.
Buy them - from us!
Gets yours from us with a tasty 10% discount
Rrp: £119
Our price: £107

2. Stretchy Sling
This is a long piece of jersey cotton. It is used by pre-tying the sling around the wearer and then popping baby into the cross pockets. It is secure, snug and cosy. Tied correctly it can completely support a newborn’s gorgeous curled up position. Most people find these slings are perfect until baby reaches the age where they are more interested in the world and less sleepy and curled up state. Many sling libraries (ours included) offer a free stretchy hire scheme for those early weeks.
TOP TIP: MAKE SURE THE STRETCHY IS TIGHT ENOUGH, THIS CREATES THE SUPPORT NEEDED FOR BABY’S BACK AND ENSURES A PROTECTED AIRWAY.
Our fave: Calin Bleu in teal
Buy them - from us!
£25

3. Close Caboo
Similar to a stretchy it is made from stretchy jersey cotton, but rather than having to tie it yourself, it is a pretied sling that you pop on like a tshirt, put baby in and then secure with an additional panel. These are really easy to use, easy to adjust and very comfortable. The down side for me is that you need to use both parts and I fear loosing one part! We find that parents enjoy using the Caboo for a similar amount of time to a stretchy sling.
TOP TIP: PUT THE RINGS TO YOUR WRISTS WHEN YOU GET READY TO PUT IT ON
Our favourite: Organic Close Caboo rrp £70
From birth 5lbs and up
https://www.closeparent.com/shop-now/travel/caboo-organic-multi-position-baby-carrier

4. Zensling
This is a full buckle carrier made using stretchy, soft jersey cotton. It is adjustable at the base of the carrier (to ensure optimal positioning for hips and legs), it is also adjustable along the height of the panel which is super handy to ensure the length of the sling allows complete view of baby’s face. It is easy to use, and those who prefer buckles rather than a tie on carrier this is a great option. It is also suitable for a bigger baby and even for back carrying when baby reaches approxiently 6 months or when sitting unaided.
TOP TIP: PLACE BABY AGAINST YOUR CHEST, SUPPORT WITH ONE HAND AND USE THE OTHER TO BRING THE PANEL OF THE ZENSLING UP AS YOU SETTLE BABY INTO THE CARRIER.
Our favourite: Black and ocean zensling RRP: £84.99
https://mamaruga.com/product/black-ocean/
From 3kg/newborn

5. Beco Gemini cool
Another full buckle carrier which is a bit in between the Tula and the zen. It’s lightweight while still having good support. This cool version makes for a super year round carrier option. Stay cool in summer and wrap up over the sling in winter without feeling bulky and hot. The added bonus with this sling is the forward facing option and hip carrying option when baby is ready, but won’t last quite as long as a Tula.
Rrp: £105
Buy it from: www.slumber-roo.co.uk

Come along to sling library where you can try these on!

September 14th, 2019

9/14/2019

Do you know what's really pissing me off at the moment? The stripping of power, the lack of trust and the guilt that parents have to deal with.

Because it shouldn't be like this.

It starts from the beginning doesn't it?

You *should* put the baby down now.
They *should* be sleeping on their own.
They *should* be sleeping for at least 4 hours at night now (at ten weeks old)
You *shouldn't* feed them to sleep
You *shouldn't* rock them to sleep
You *shouldn't* use the sling to get them to sleep
You *should* leave them now
The baby *should* be doing xyz by now...
You *should* space out their feeds
They *shouldn't* need feeding again
Your toddler *shouldn't* still be in your bed at night
Your toddler *should* walk by themselves now...

I could go on and on and on...

Sometimes these things said to us are truly from a good place. Often they are said because we are on our knees with tiredness and compassionate people around us who care for us, see our giving to our children as the root of the tiredness. And if only we could find a way of not giving so much it would be easier = we'd be less tired.

Other times it's said from a person in authority, following a chart, averages and books. the danger here being they are not taking the whole situation into account. And potentially, making the situation worse...

And they could be said to us out of fear or through our parenting triggering someone else. Perhaps because they followed all the shoulds and shouldnts against their gut??
This world right now is a really fucking hard place to raise children (and I'm sure all generations would say the same...) But our world is under very real threat of growing catastrophe from climate change. Our county stands to suffer at the hands of some of our political leaders in a way not seen before. The worldwide news of troubled times across the globe is ever present to us...

And in conjunction with this global situation, we have more knowledge than we've ever had before about neuroscience /psychology, how all that we do and say has an impact on our children, their self worth and their mental health. And because of this we're a generation where many of us are having to heal from our own parenting trauma.

We're also a generation that is forced into two-parent working families more often than not. Because the cost of living is so fucking high. We're a generation of parents who, for many many many of us, live without the extended family back up and so we joke "the juggle is real". But it's no joke. Raising kids, working, maintaining a marriage, not fucking up your kids, being eco friendly and don't forget self care and exercise oh and making sure dinner is always healthy and nutritious. Argh.

And so parenting guilt from those who impose the shoulds and shouldn'ts on us, in combination with the knowledge of the world we're in is a recipe for doubt, fear and worry.
We worry for our children, we're on our own, desperate not to fuck up. Desperate to get it right, (because apparently there is a "right" way to parent). And this leaves us vulnerable to the shoulds and shouldn'ts. It leaves is so desperate for someone to say "yes you're doing it right" that often we hear "but you're also getting it wrong".

We want someone to tell us what to do to alleviate some of the pressure and responsibility. But then if we don't meet the mark, we feel like we're failing.

Because we question ourselves
We doubt our heart
We don't feel empowered

I have been privileged to listen to two conversations this week. Both times a mama was worrying about their babies sleep and needing their mama or mamas milk to sleep. And the response the first time was

"Don't worry, you are all your baby needs, everything they need is right here."

And the second time

"Just do what feels right to you, all babies are different."

My wish for you right now, even for a moment, is that you can believe what your heart says. Trust in you. Feel it in your gut. You know your baby. And that you can receive help when you want it, that inspires you, empowers you and doesn't make you feel shit.

You've got this

Xx

Anxiety, babywearing and dance-sling

9/5/2019

Anxiety has become an unwelcome companion for me. Waking up, greeted by the sick feeling in my stomach is pretty much a daily occurrence. As a new mum (and even now at times, if I’m honest) one of my biggest anxiety triggers was leaving my children. I became terrified of my babies feeling abandoned by me. At its worst, anxiety has been so extreme that I have become afraid of and panicking at seeing a police helicopter overhead because I have been convinced that they were hunting for me and that I was going to be taken away by them. I have avoided driving (the longest period was for 18 months) because I couldn’t bear the idea of abandoning my children if I had a car crash. It meant that I struggled with any family gathering where others would want to cuddle my babies, because I didn’t want them to worry I wasn’t there. Hearing my baby cry, even for a second, was too hard, because I didn’t want them to feel abandoned by me. Leaving one of my (especially an at the time breastfed) babies even to pop to the shop which was five minutes away, was impossible. Anyway, I could go on but enough of that, you get the idea...

Now I know that all of these are my issues from my own childhood, and I’m working on it. But the tricky thing is that these things often come up when we have our own children and so we’ve got to battle them at the same time as trying to raise our children to be happy and healthy, loved and attached.

So what’s a mama to do when she’s struggling with all of this, trying to understand that her own experiences are having an impact on her parenting experience, not mess up her own children, and then becomes overwhelmed with anxiety and the pressures of motherhood. (Sleep deprivation and hormones are a feeder for my anxiety).

(A side note, if any of these thoughts resonate with you, or you experience anxiety which is affecting your everyday, please reach out for help from your GP.)

Well babywearing was certainly a massive parenting game changer for me. In the early days of motherhood I didn’t piece all of this together. I didn’t realise that what I was feeling was anxiety because I had no level of comparison. I had no idea if this was normal or not. And the general mood around me was one of expectation of celebration and then leaving the parents to it. So I didn’t sit down and realise that I was suffering from postnatal anxiety triggered by fears of abandoning my child which was a reflection of my own childhood experiences (and I certainly don’t quite understand it all now). And I didn’t link babywearing with a lessening of my anxiety for some time. It just felt good and right. I felt held together in a way that is hard to explain, but for those of you who get it, I know you understand what I mean.

I could breathe a sigh of relief. In the moment of carrying the baby, I could meet their needs. I wasn’t worrying that they would be feeling abandoned. (Again, totally my issue...).

And babywearing works both ways. Actually one of the reasons to pick up the sling for me and my eldest, and give it a try, was because my baby didn’t want to be put down. So the need for closeness was mutual.

Fast forward a few years and the fortunate meeting between me and Ruth (one of our dance teachers) happened. And long story short, dance-sling was born.

What’s all of my anxiety got to do with dance-sling I hear you ask?

Well, we all know this, parenting can be hard, add in any kind of mental health struggle and things can get a bit erm, messy. So much advice for things like anxiety is very wholesome. Do some yoga, practise meditation, focus on your breathing, do something creative just for you, have some me time. Go to bed early, eat well. All of this advice, great though it is, didn’t feel within my grasp. Because I was a mum and a mum with anxiety over leaving her children at that.

And so the concept of having a dance class where it truly is something for parents WITHOUT having to leave their babies (and the babies love it) is clearly something I believe in.

Dance can heal.

It’s not just me who has struggled with anxiety. Around one in five women will experience a mental health problem during pregnancy or in the year after giving birth. And it’s thought that of the general population one in four of us are suffering. The world is a tricky enough place to live in these days. If we can have an hour in the week to do something that will help us, in our very chemical make-up, to feel better, this can have far reaching powers. A happy parent is a parent more able to parent. What does that mean, well, those days when my anxiety spikes I’m not on top parenting form. I simply can’t be.

And there is real science behind the power of dance and baby wearing in combination and I’m a massive fan of giving my body the best chance I can of dealing with any anxiety.

During a dance class we experience exercise endorphins. The bodies own happy hormones. Natural painkillers. Lifting the mood making us feel happy. Not only that but “regular exercise can positively impact serotonin levels in your brain. Raising your levels of serotonin boosts your mood and overall sense of well-being. It can also help improve your appetite and sleep cycles, which are often negatively affected by depression.”

Regular exercise also helps balance your body’s level of stress hormones, such as adrenaline. Adrenaline plays a crucial role in your fight-or-flight response, but too much of it can damage your health.

While babywearing we experience a rush of oxytocin - the love hormone. Bonding us with our babies. Making us feel loved, them feel loved. Connecting us together. This means that our attachment deepens, and here is the magic. This attachment connection has a life long impact on our babies brain. Babywearing can build attachment, attachment can build healthy brains. “For a child who is well attached to us, we are her home base from which to venture into the world, her retreat to fall back to, her fountainhead of inspiration.” (Hold on to your kids). And for us too, oxytocin helps lower the cortisol we produce. Lowering blood pressure. (Great for someone with a racing heart from anxiety). Which in turn can have an effect on our oestrogen production and effect our mood that way. Seriously this stuff is powerful.

Do you have to be struggling with anxiety to come to dance class to feel all this magic? Nope, these chemical/hormonal reactions, they are for everyone. WIN!

Is dance-sling going to cure any anxiety on its own? Well, no. But it is an activity that is on your side. It is an hour to work hard on getting the brain to focus on something completely different. It’s an hour where baby is most likely to be chilled out in the sling. An hour to let go of the worry.

And of course, we’d love to welcome you to dance-sling. You can book a spot here:
http://www.naturallyhappyfamilies.co.uk/dance-sling-class.html

Babywearing: an eco-positive parenting action

7/4/2019

It's plastic free July right now. Plastic over use, climate change and the inaction of our government (talking the talk but not really walking the walk) is massively close to my heart (or more like the pit of my stomach where I feel constantly sick with anxiety about this).

We need a massive shift in the way we live our lives to achieve the results needed to rectify the dangerous path of climate change. I believe that babywearing, as a parenting choice, can be an eco responsible, and indeed plastic free option, which can lead to all sorts of other eco responsible decisions and can actually be part of what brings about that shift in the way we live our lives, that is so dearly needed.

Here are my thoughts on how babywearing can be an eco responsible, plastic free or plastic sensible choice, and how we can reduce, reuse and recycle our slings.

Connection, attachment, healthy brains and resilience.
Babywearing is, for me, ultimately about connection. It's about laying foundations of love. It's about building on your bond, because proximity (being physically close to your child in the sling) builds connection and connection builds attachment. Through secure attachments we have children who grow up with healthy brains, who are able to handle stress in a healthy way. Who are able to turn to us in times of trouble. This is life long in its impact, and will be even more necessary with the uncertain future we are facing. We need our children to be resilient and heart and mind healthy. (This is not to say that a sling is the only way of doing this, but is definitely a helpful practical tool to enable this, and help mitigate the pressure on parents to do this in the societal structure we have at the moment, where families are, in most cases, left on their own to figure it out, which isn't really how bringing up children is designed).

A note too on society and what it's telling us at the moment. We are told that we should have independent children from a very young age. Meaning our children are able to self settle, self sooth, sleep on their own and generally not need us and it’s seen as a failing by us if they do. But really we know that we need to be in this together. To solve the problems our world faces, this is a team effort. And so we want interdependencewith our children not independence - we're in this together.

“The urgent challenge to protect our common home includes a concern to bring the whole human family together to seek a sustainable and integral development, for we know that things can change.” Pope Francis Laudato Si (13)

A different way of looking at the world and parenting.
“If we approach nature and the environment without this openness to awe and wonder, if we no longer speak the language of fraternity and beauty in our relationship with the world, our attitude will be that of masters, consumers, ruthless exploiters, unable to set limits on their immediate needs. By contrast, if we feel intimately united with all that exists, then sobriety and care will well up spontaneously.”

Babywearing can give a sense of freedom. Freedom to go places of awe and wonder with our children (through the forest, along the beach, up a mountain, stargazing...). It can bring us to a place of connection with nature, because we can be out in nature in complete freedom, with our family. From which springs love, concern and a desire to preserve our natural world.

It gives us the option of saying "I can make this journey on public transport instead of using my car, I can walk this instead of using my car". Those newborn days where many babies hate the car seat, using a sling instead and ditching the car can be liberating. Win win. Its exactly what I did with Anna for her first year and a half. It meant I was free to travel around without the constant stress and worry because she was crying in the back of the car without me.

Allows us to fall down the eco rabbit hole.
Since joining (in particular) the online babywearing world, I have been introduced to so many eco ideas. Joined all the save the planet Facebook groups (who in the babywearing world hasnt heard of or shopped with babipur...) Cloth nappies might even be the next step which often comes hand in hand with those babywearing and entering into it as parenting life style choice.

Choosing your own sling
Part of our power to change the world lies in our consumer choices. In terms of which sling to buy, we can consider the ethical and environmental standards of a company as part of our decision making process. I'd like to share with you something from one of our favourite companies.

“Integra ethics are fundamental. We ensure the exceptionally high standards of our products and carefully source all elements. We at Integra choose vegetable inks, recycled card/paper and carbon neutral couriers. Integra offers fair working conditions, proudly supporting our staff through parenthood and family life. All Integra carriers are made in Somerset, UK. We are continually mindful of our carbon footprint. Our packaging is intentionally minimal – resulting in light and compact packaging. We take our responsibilities to the environment, and each other, consciously.”

Once we've decided that babywearing is something you want to do, making a decision about which one to buy is massive. Firstly, please do come along to a sling library to at least try some on. Find ONE that works for you. Often, before a baby is born we hit the shops, pick up the cheapest carrier on the shelves, or a popular brand name carrier, and assume it'll be fine, because they're all the same right?? But actually you find that one is no good to you, and ends up in landfill as you replace it with the one you find by coming along to sling library.

So challenge me when you come to sling library, which slings fit the ethical bill...(star rating coming soon)

Try a woven wrap
The ultimate plastic free sling is going to be a woven wrap. And many companies are now producing wraps using organically produced fabrics and often using cotton alternatives (to avoid the high water and energy consumption of using cotton) such as hemp. And at the end of the babywearing life of a woven wrap it can be passed on or made into a family heirloom which can be treasured for years to come.

There is limited plastic even in a buckle carrier
If a buckle carrier is for you, there is so little plastic in the carrier. Again with care, these can last for years and years, and can be passed around friends and family. Manufacturers are creating more and more adjustable carriers meaning they genuinely last from newborn to toddler. So no need for multiple slings. That's a consumption of product saver in itself. And see point 1. Babywearing is so good for us, baby, our family and the world, that a bit of plastic is worth it in my opinion. We can get so caught up I’m trying to make the “right” decision that we trip up. We need to remember the bigger picture here, and that is, babywearing is good for baby, us, our family and the world.

Reduce, reuse and recycle.
I think we have become very used to being able to buy whatever we like. Everyone owns what they want and need, even if that product already exists. And if you're at the beginning of your family, or your baby is very little and you've found a sling that is going to work for you long term, buying one is a great idea. But if you're needing a sling for a shorter period of time, or won't be reusing it, consider borrowing one long term perhaps from a friend or even hiring one from a sling library.

And if you’re going to buy one, consider second hand. Let's face it, there are many many slings out there. Often at bargain prices. Find the one you want to buy, hit the Facebook sales groups and buy a Preloved one. Which is going to look like what a brand new one will in a matter of days. (Check out our buying second hand slings guide here).

I would also challenge the desire to buy and own lots of different slings, especially if bought new. We need to change the rate at which we purchase things. To slow down the consumption of products. We do not need ten wraps, five buckle carriers, three ring slings and a sling in each car. We might want them and love them, but we don’t need them.

The practicals of an eco responsible day out while babywearing
So even a day out can create a lot of need for a baby or small person. And so jumping in the car can seem like an easier option to carry all the baby stuff. But with a bit of careful planning, getting a bag that works for your chosen sling and living on a wing and a prayer that you really won't need 5 outfit changes, it can be done. My preference is to use a large over the body bag, in which I can squeeze in my phone, keys, purse, nappy and a drink. A rucksack is another great option for front carrying. Better still get one second hand in a charity shop!

Think through snack times and bring your own which can be plastic free
It's about ditching the convenience of grabbing a snack when out. I know that's hard. And organisation is not my strong point at all. But eating out is going to involve plastic, more than likely.

Similar to snack time, bring a water bottle. Especially important for summer babywearing when it's hot and we need to be really mindful or hydrating to be able to stay cool and avoid dehydration while carrying (which is going to be a bit hot and sweaty - nice).

A note on Exclusive babywearing.
It is entirely possible to exclusively babywear. What I mean is, if pregnant, and beginning a family, choosing a sling over a prom/buggy is doable. I do not have a problem with buggies, but they simply do have a higher carbon footprint than a sling. I have exclusively carried Anna for 2.5 years now. Partly because i don’t have room to store a buggy in my house right now, partly because I wanted to see if it could be done, and partly because I just love carrying her.

I want to end with one of my favourite quotes.
“There is no single effort more radical in it’s potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children.” Marianne Williamson

If you liked this blog, it’s up for an award, please take a minute to vote for it at at: www.essexmums.com/awards/voting

Toddler Slings: Top Picks

6/18/2019

Top picks for carrying toddlers

Babywearing, carrying, using a sling, it doesn't have to stop at toddlerhood...

Did you know, as a sling library we hire out the most toddler carriers during the summer months? With all the lovely days out, especially if you have older ones too, a toddler sling is so so handy (or actually vital) to have for when big-little legs start getting tired. Or when big-little ones feel overwhelmed on days out. Particularly helpful if your toddler doesn't want to go in a buggy/you don't want to push an empty one around for the day, or you're going off the beaten track.

So here are my top picks for toddler carrying options. These are all slings or carriers we have in the sling library too, so you can try before you buy, or hire one for during the summer holidays.

1. Toddler Tula.
PROS: This is the carrier I currently use with Anna who is two and a half. I really really love it. It's got a sturdy waist band (but isn't diggy). It has cushy shoulder straps and is super easy to put on with the straps fixed in a ruck sack style. They come in gorgeous prints too. They are on the bigger size end of the toddler carrier spectrum which has worked really well for me with tall toddlers! They offer back carrying and parent facing front carrying options. To tighten when you're front carrying, it's a really simple forward tightening action.

CONS: The straps don't offer a crossed strap option (as with all tulas). This carrier also has very limited adjustability - it has perfect fit adjusters on the shoulder padding but not adjusters in the waist band. When back carrying you have to tighten by pulling backwards which can be a bit trickier.

Price: £129 (additional discount if you order through us!)

2. Toddler Integra:

PROS: This is a lightweight, unpadded carrier which offers front, hip and back carrying. It has no heavy waist band which makes it a really transportable carrier. (Think shoving it in your bag until you need it). You can cross the straps over your back and it's has duel adjusters which makes tightening for both front and back carrying simple. Also comes in a solar design which offers sun protection and is splash proof!

CONS: If you prefer heavy padding and waist band in a carrier then the integra won't be for you.

PRICE: £75-£85

Toddler Beco Gemini Cool

PROS: This is lightweight with a breathable mesh middle panel carrier. This makes it a really good option for summer carrying. It has a Padded waist band but it's not mega chunky. Similarly the straps are padded but fairly minimal padding. You can cross the straps over your back. It offers front, back and hip carrying options. It is also a fairly big toddler option so will last a good time.

CONS: like the toddler Tula, there isn't much in the way of adjustability with this carrier. Because of this and how big it comes up, it will fit bigger/older toddlers (you may have to wait for it to fit).

PRICE: £115
Get yours from slumber roo
A good* woven ring sling

When I say good, I mean one using woven wrap fabric, with metal rings and no padding along the rails (eg not cheapies on the internet)

PROS: super quick to just chuck on, especially helpful with toddlers who want to be up and down all the time and who really like being carried on your hip. Goes nice and small for popping in a bag on a day out. Can even be used for a quick back carry as well!

CONS: it's a one shoulder carry, and so it's not going to be a carrier that you use for a full day of walking around. There is a real sweet spot with ring slings so well worth taking the time to find yours.

PRICE: varies from make to make.

5. A woven wrap

PROS: I will always love a woven wrap for all ages really. You can wrap it so it supports you in all the right ways (eg, spreading weight over different areas of your body, shoulders, chest, back, hips). There is something quite wonderful about the process of wrapping. With one woven the options are so big. Front, back hip carrying with lots of different ways of doing it. Something with linen or hemp in it is super strong for a toddler but still soft and lovely for your shoulders. This is also a sling option that isn't limited to toddler carrying but would work from newborn right through to toddler hood and beyond making it very cost effective.

CONS: They do take more time to learn and to tie. Wriggly toddlers can be a challenge to wrap. My preference is a size 6/7 which is a long wrap. These are then very long to carry around if your little one doesn't want to be up all day.

PRICE: again varies from brand to brand, we have mostly firespiral in our library which are around £150

Give us a shout if you'd like to try one 💗

And this blog is up for an Essex mums award. If you've found it helpful, please take a moment to vote for my blog here:

Happy Toddlerwearing!

Sling Safety

6/10/2019

Sling Safety - carrying safely.

Carrying your baby in a sling or carrier has so so many benefits, they are far reaching and life long. As a sling library, we want every parent/carer who wants to carry, to feel super comfortable, confident and empowered to do it safely. That's not to say that babywearing is dangerous! But that with all things baby related, we must be aware of any potential risks and how to ensure we're safe!

Often we get asked "does this look right?" But actually it's not up to me to say if something looks right, rather it's up to me to empower YOU to be able to make that decision about safety!

Here are my top ten key safety points to be checking in on in preparation for and during carrying your baby.

1. Does my baby have clear and open air ways when both awake and asleep? Is my baby's chin off their chest? Do they have a lovely tucked seated position which allows them to rest their head on the flat of your chest if front carrying (or the flat of your back if back carrying) without slumping inside of the carrier or sling.

"My baby has clear and open airways in the sling."

2. Can I see my baby's face when awake and asleep? (When back carrying use a sling mirror or phone to be able to check on this). Can I make sure that the sling or carrier isn't covering my baby's face at all. This includes the straps or shoulder passes of the carrier.

"I can see my baby's face at all times."

3. Is my baby secure in the position the are in? Is the height of the sling safely supporting at least up to the armpit of baby but not higher than the nape of the neck. Am I happy that there is no way that baby can fall from the bottom of the sling.

"My baby is secure in the sling and cannot fall."

4. Is the activity I am about to do safe for carrying a baby in a sling? Is this an activity I would feel comfortable doing if carrying my baby in arms? Is the sling going to remain in a safe position while I am doing the activity? Will the activity compromise points 1 and 2?

"The activity I am doing is safe while carrying my baby".

5. Is my baby in suitable clothing? Can I monitor my baby's temperature and comfort levels in the sling? Have I made sure that all the clothes worn are allowing the sling to be in correct position and tightness to make sure that my baby is in a position that doesn't compromise air ways. Can I make sure that my baby doesn't overheat in too many thick layers in addition to the sling and body heat?

"My baby is comfortable and not at risk of overheating".

6. Is my sling safe? Have I checked it over before I use it? Have I made sure that the buckles are all in tact? Is all webbing in tact? There are no holes in the sling or carrier? Have I checked that the manufacturer of the sling is using safety and weight testing and safe dyes?

"My sling is safe and ready to use."

7. Am I aware of the ideal position for my baby in the sling or carrier I am using? (Upright, tight and snug, with open airways and full support of baby's body without restricting the head or neck). Am I able to check in on this position during the time I am carrying and make adjustments if needed?

"I am happy with my baby's position in the sling."

8. Am I confident I can be safe when putting the sling on and taking it off? There are no trip hazards, or dangers (eg next to your car on a busy road) while putting baby into the carrier. Am I confident that I am able to support baby at all times while putting the sling on and taking it off?

"I am in a safe place when putting my sling on and taking it off, I can support my baby while I do this."

9. If attending a babywearing class, or sling library do the instructors have relevant qualifications, insurance and experience. (This is best practise). Does the instructor or educator focus on safety? Does the instructor monitor safe carrying?

"I am in a class where safety is paramount."

10. Can I monitor my baby whilst carrying? Can I ensure I am able to monitor open airways, position, temperature and comfort of my baby in the sling?

"My baby is safe and secure while I am carrying them".

These safety check points become second nature. If you ever have any questions we are super happy to go through these points at any of our sessions!

Check here for our next meets!

May 07th, 2019

5/7/2019

Samuels story - hearing loss and babywearing.

This week is European babywearing week. Yesterday's theme was "the joy of communication." There is much evidence to suggest that babies who are carried develop communication skills earlier and social skills develop well because they are involved in conversations much more so due to being right in the midst of the action.

Bethany and Luke my eldest were early and great talkers. Bethany in particular was talking in full and completely understandable sentences at 18 months. (No brag, she just was). Luke followed suit.

When Samuel was was born and the reached the age of beginning to talk, he did not follow in the same way. He did a bit, said mama and Dada but no where near the level of talking the other two did.

MANY MANY people "blamed" it on the fact the he was the youngest. That the other two spoke for him (not true). That because I was busy and there were three of them, he didn't get a word in edgeways. Others said it was because he didn't need to speak because I did all the things he needed without him having to ask. But he was still so little...it was in the realm of "normal".

Fast forward a couple of years to preschool and Samuel was definitely talking by this point but was also challenged by it. There were lots of sounds he struggled with and he would often lash out (bite) if he couldn't be understood. It was tricky for him and for me.

We raised it with the HV and preschool. The option given was a speech and language group where I would be taught how to talk to him better so he could learn from me. And the conclusion was he was just a bit behind.

That didn't seem quite right to me. It wasn't that he was ignored by me. It wasn't that he didn't have opportunities to speak that was holding him back.

The thing is, Samuel is incredibly bright and so even with a speech delay, he was doing well. He was able to make his needs and wants known. He also had a truly wonderful key worker at preschool who listened to him and learnt very quickly Samuels ways of saying things. But again, we figured he was just a bit delayed.

Fast forward again to reception at school. Very quickly he began to be unhappy. He wasn't being understood at school and he was getting frustrated. We are incredibly lucky to have a dedicated speach and language centre as part of the school who assessed him and offered him a place in the speech and language class.

This was a success from the beginning. It also triggered a hearing test. Which we thought wouldn't be an issue. He'd passed his newborn test. No one had suggested it since then. He could hear us. It was just his speech right?
WRONG

It turnedrns out poor old Samuel has a severe high frequency hearing loss. This means he can hear, but not the high frequency sounds (f,p,t,s, etc). And this was the root of his speech delay.

I have massive massive love for the audiology dept at Broomfield and in particular Kirsten the paedatric audiologist who we saw (and still see) at every appt and who fitted Samuel's hearing aids. These have made so so so much difference to him. He noticed the difference straight away and his speech has improved significantly, so much so that he has just been discharged from speech and language care. He still struggles with some words and without his hearing aids - well he definitely needs them (we can all tell when one has run out of battery!). And likely will for the rest of his life. We don't know what caused the hearing loss but it's there...

So what's this got to do with European babywearing week?

Well, I look back on my time babywearing Samuel and just think "thank goodness". I deal with mega guilt about how long it took us to uncover Samuels hearing loss.There are many pictures of him in a sling right up close to me and I am so grateful that I carried him because it meant that he could hear me, up close. Because we were physically closer he could catch what I was saying. That the times it was noisy and he couldn't hear me, at least he had the physical reasurrance that he was safe. We were together. And maybe, just maybe, hopefully, even with hearing loss, that early communication was a good foundation for him too.

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