2. Layers are your friend
\nFor you and baby while out in all weathers. Go for thin layers. Use thin thermal base layers for you. And something over the top of you and baby (babywearing coat/large zippy top/maternity coat etc) remember that the sling counts as layers of clothing, depending on how many layers the sling has. So protecting extremities from the cold or heat is going to be really important. No SNOWSUITS for baby. These all in one footless and non padded suits are amazing though https://www.babipur.co.uk/organic-baby-clothes/baby-coats-jackets-snowsuits/frugi-baby-snuggle-suit-scandi-birds.html

And rain?
Well I never really got on with any babywearing raincoats that have holes for the baby. Mostly because the baby would panic and scream and I would be stressed ....but if you're calmer than me a good babywearing raincoat works...
But actually I just found that an oversized lightweight raincoat could fit over both me and bubs front or back carrying and because I was hands free I could hold a sturdy umbrella 💥

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It's world breastfeeding week. All over my news feed are many of my wonderful babywearing consultant counterparts from all around the world sharing super helpful and really informative videos and tutorials on breastfeeding in a sling.
Breastfeeding and bottle feeding while carrying baby in a sling can be one of those amazing skills to have in the bag. It can save a shopping trip or day out at the park with your toddler.

But I can't do it.
I've breastfed all 4 of my kids.
I babyworn all 4 of my kids.
I'm a trained, qualified and experienced babywearing consultant.

And I still can't do it.

This is not meant to be discouraging to those who can and who want to.

This is meant to be a reassurance for those, who like me, are looking at these videos and thinking "but I just CAN'T do it". It's ok. And you're not doing anything wrong. And you CAN still manage without combining these two things.

I've had a troubling start to breastfeeding all of my babies. For the first about 12-16 weeks (the time frame most mother's want to feed in a sling as its the most intense feeding time) of my feeding journey for all of them, it has been pretty much agony. I learnt I HAD to have baby in the perfect position or the latch was wrong and I was in so so so much pain. Cracked nipples. Engorgement. Over supply. Blocked ducts. Re-filling pain (oh the agony). And mastitis. And mastitis, so many flipping times.

In these early weeks of breastfeeding agony joy, trying to breastfeed in a sling was almost impossible. If I tried it, I would end up in pain from poor positioning, which for all the will in the world, I couldn't make work in a sling. Let's be personal here, my boobs aren't exactly small or perky anymore. It would cause my boob to squish, leading to blocked ducts.

There have been exactly 3 times I have sort of done it. Once on the beach when we had packed up and Samuel needed feeding so I tried to do it in the stretchy. Once in the queue at the wrap show (of all the places) and Anna needed feeding, and carol literally tied the sling around me, disaster. And once when I was cooking dinner, using a ring sling. I took a pic and sent it to a breastfeeding counsellor friend as I was so proud. But it wasn't comfy. Never going to be a long term thing for me.

It's ok if breastfeeding isn't easy. Get help. Get support and do what works for you.

Get help with babywearing too. We mustn't compromise safety while babywearing, and this is especially important when feeding in a sling. Nail babywearing.

You don't HAVE to breastfeed in a sling.

If it means that your toddler sits around and watches TV for 4 months while you and your newborn nurse for hours, that's ok. If you just plant your bum on the sofa with your newborn and don't go out for that fourth trimester, that's ok. Box sets, snacks, water.

The sling will be there when you need it. In fact my early parenting tools are pretty limited to boob and sling. Try one, then then other and then back again. Just get both right. Don't compromise on one.

And if you have magic boobs like one of my friends, who I was always in awe of her ability to breastfeed on the go (I remember going for a walk together and she breastfed her son easily in the sling as we pottered along) then celebrate that too.
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Finally, if you need breastfeeding support, reach out for it. I have a wonderful friend who happens to be the leader of the local la leche league branch in Chelmsford and through her support I found my comfy position with Anna, we worked on clearing blocked ducts and recovering from mastitis. She explained refilling pain and so much more. Thank goodness.
Here are the details for la leche league...
https://www.laleche.org.uk/find-lll-support-group/

and if you're local: https://www.laleche.org.uk/supportgroup/lll-chelmsford/

if you liked this blog we're up for an award. We'd be so grateful for your vote! https://www.essexmums.com/awards/voting/

thanks for reading. if you liked this, our blog is up for an award, we'd be so grateful for your vote!
​http://www.essexmums.com/awards/voting/

When Anna was born, and for about 9 months she hated the bath. I mean screamed like it was the worst thing ever. And all of a sudden after months of us avoiding bath time as much as possible, she loved it. Its now one of the only activities that she is 100% going to love.


Whats this got to do with your baby not wanting to be put down I hear you wonder? Well, we didn't do anything to get Anna to like the bath more. We just waited. And eventually she was ok with it. We didn't force the issue, we just went with it. She changed.


And here's the thing, babies, toddlers, children, they change. It just happens. It's like we get used to one way of doing things as parents before it changes again. We can read all the books, we can try to figure out a plan, routine, strategy, all the while we're trying to figure out what's going on, they are busy doing their own developing and changing and growing.


My long suffering husband and friends will tell you that I'm the first person to stress about the "plan", the "long term". I promise you that I have asked more than a million squillion times if it's "ok"? And in particular, relating to my babies need for closeness.


Is it ok that I can't put her down tonight?
Is it ok that she only wants to sleep on me?
Is it ok that she will only settle in the sling?
Is it ok that as soon as I take her out of the sling she wakes up?
Have I done something wrong?
Is it ok that I can't just lay my baby down "awake but drowsy" and allow them to self-soothe?


The answer is not even a right or wrong thing. The answer is, it's ok.
It's just ok.
And it's going to be ok
Because they change.
Their needs will change.


One day I was walking around the kitchen with my eldest in a sling, pacing our little flat, wondering what I'd done wrong. And now, she's a big 8 year old who still loves cuddles but doesn't need the sling to get to sleep.


I don't know how we got there but we did. And it was ok. I need reminding often that all will be ok. My husband will quite often get a barrage of texts from me saying something is going on, then tell him my thoughts and then need affirming I'm doing the "right" thing. So if you need a reminder that you're doing ok, here it is:
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...right now if you're baby needs you and doesn't like to be put down. Or your toddler is going through a seperation anxiety phase - just know it's ok. It's going to be ok and in a month's time it will be different. Its ok to respond with cuddles, it's ok to let them sleep on you, or in the sling, it's ok if they need you.
You are building foundations of love. And all will be well ♥️

I think it's safe to say the last couple of weeks have been a bit shit.
The washing machine is broken (intermittently)
The boiler was condemned last Friday and we've had to shell out for a new one which isn't going to be installed until next week.
A crown has come out of my tooth and still isn't fixed.
GDPR policies needed finishing
It's the end of the month no money time and
My Grandma is really very very poorly, reaching the end of her battle with Cancer. My strong, glamorous grandma, the one always there for us all, is going to be leaving soon, and I don't want to face that...

So I'm a bit preoccupied. I'm not juggling jobs well. I'm forgetting things. I'm struggling more than normal to keep on top of things.

And yesterday evening I reached breaking point. I was settling Anna down to breastfeed to sleep when the boys came in shouting about the bloody light. One wanted it on and one wanted it off. This meant Anna was disturbed and NO WAY was she going to go back to sleep.

I gave up and took her downstairs. All the time something someone had said earlier that day playing on my mind that essentially it was MY parenting that Anna wasn't "better behaved". And the list of jobs I had set myself for last night was prodding my conscience.

So she was wriggling about all over me. Slapping me, never sitting still. I got a book in the eye...

Eventually I'd had enough of trying cuddling and boob. There are only so many times I can take her latched on but twisting off my lap still attached...it wasn't working and I was exhausted.

I stormed off to grab the Tula. Flung Anna up and tried to wash up. Cos that still needed doing. All the jobs still needed doing. She wasnt having any of it. Screamed bloody murder. So i got her down and unceremoniously handed her to CJ, she's still screaming. I kicked the Tula across the kitchen and took a moment. But she was crying, and she was crying for me.

She needed me to be kind and loving. Not fed up and angry. Waves of guilt came crashing down on me. I slammed things around a bit in the kitchen. (I actually broke a mug by some over vigorous washing up). But she wasn't settling for CJ. So I went to her. I tried to wash up with her on my hip. I just wanted a clean kitchen..if that was done maybe things would be better? Feelings of failing as a house wife, maybe they'd go away?
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In the end I had calmed enough to set her down gently, pull out a wrap and ask her if she wanted a cuddle in it. She did. And she finally calmed down. She sobbed a bit on my back but pretty quickly fell asleep. I just felt sad that I had been a shit mum. That I struggled with her needs.
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I suppose the moral of my story is, we all have shit days/weeks. If a friend of mine was telling me this story I would tell her to chill out and be kind to herself. And to trust the foundations of love you have built. Eventually...they came through for me. They were stronger than my weakness last night.
(photo taken to see if anna had fallen asleep)